Faith, Trust, and Pixie Dust.

british: american people are so annoying
chinese: american people are so annoying
mexicans: american people are so annoying
french: american people are so annoying
americans: we are so annoying 
canadians: I fucking love maple syrup
australians: we can do your accent but none of you assholes can do ours AHAHAHAHA

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myrtlewilson:

myrtlewilson:

fun fact one time i auditioned for a play and the character called for a russian accent and i did mine for the director and got the part and she stopped me on my way out and asked my how i got it so believable sounding and i didn’t have the heart to tell her it was because of the amount of time i spend imitating chekov from star trek when i’m home alone

i’m nominated for an acting award at my school now because of this

(via of-boners-and-men)

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-annoying:

one time i explained post limit to my mom and she says

“is that why you get off the computer sometimes”

(via of-boners-and-men)

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trapghoul:

fuck all this “be a role model” bullshit placed on celebrities. it’s not their job to raise your nasty ass kids.

(via of-boners-and-men)

julietrosedoctor:

man-in-the-moonmoon:

zackisontumblr:

friends with overprotective parents

friends with parents who dont give a shit about them and so they feel worthless (even though are beautiful in every way)

friends whose parents put them under so much pressure and make them feel like a burden to the family and call them stupid and a disgrace to society if they are not perfect in every possible way

(via sugarcookie13)

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 (I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
 (I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)

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(Source: obriens, via annie-loves-your-face)

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theonesock:

garlic-breadgasm:

YOU DON’T OWE YOUR PARENTS ANYTHING

IT WAS THEIR CHOICE TO HAVE, KEEP AND RAISE YOU BUT IT WASN’T YOUR CHOICE TO BE THEIR CHILD

ANY EXPECTATIONS OR IDEALS THEY TRY AND ENFORCE ON YOU ARE BULLSHIT IF YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH THEM

THEY SHOULD ACCEPT THEIR CHILD AS THEY ARE NOT JUDGE THEM ON A MINOR DETAIL THAT DOESN’T AFFECT THEIR LIFE

DO NOT FEEL BAD IF YOU AREN’T THE PERFECT CHILD YOUR PARENTS THINK YOU SHOULD BE

needed this. maybe you do too.

(via of-boners-and-men)

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